A Fish In Unfamiliar Waters

The world breaks your heart every day.

Sometimes, I wish I'd been given a tougher hide, and a stronger backbone. A worse memory, so that letting go wouldn't be so hard. And a better person, so that I'd let others be happy without me. But I'm not.

We just brush ourselves off and ignore the grass stains. Pick ourselves up and patch the scrapes to move on.

(Because I have you and you have me, and everyone else can metaphorically go have carnal relations with themselves.)

 AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. YOU MAKE ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE.


It's like a glob of slime on my arm that I can't shake off D8< a piece of slime that you kind of want to show off to everyone else, but it's still nbskaf;ejkaick!

 I break things. I break hearts. I break boys.

I warned you to stay away, but I was too fucking selfish and stupid to think it could work. Now I've lost a friend.

There are so many things I wanted to tell you, so many razor-sharp things that could cut your boy heart into melty little pieces. And the one that would've shred you apart and ripped at you with the hands of a tornado? I do love you. Not the same way that you so genuinely love me, but in my own little way. My own inconsiderate Let's-be-friends way.

I wish you hated me now. Because I'm a bitch. I was a bitch to you, when I wanted you so much to stay, but not stay the way you wanted to.

But maybe.... maybe if you believe the best in me, if you see that tiny glimmer of kindness in me that I thought I was doing, I can reach out to you again someday.

 I made a big mistake O_O Not as big as a baby mistake, but a big one nonetheless.

4 weeks in and I've already lost interest.... No. I never do learn, do I? xD

 SUCK ON THAT, YOU NEUTRAL PARAMEDICS.

just kidding! i am very grateful towards paramedics.... except for you! Mr. Paramedic-who-did-not-offer-me-a-Tic-Tac! Yeah, I'm looking at YOU D8<